Guest Post by J.O.B – Caregiver Part IIPosted: April 3, 2014
Please see “Guest Post by J.O.B. – Caregiver Part I” if you need to catch up or need the link to J.O.B.’s blog.
As Thanksgiving had come, there were good days, and there were bed. I distinctly remember Thanksgiving being bad for the simple fact that this was the first Thanksgiving that my Mother did not prepare the whole meal. Debbie (Oldest sibling) was cooking. Every other minute however Mom was in there making sure the sweet potato mash and collard greens were being prepared properly. Then the sweet cornbread and black eyed peas (MOM was from Kentucky, duh. LOL). Not to mention the turkey! Holy cow, Debbie had no idea what she got herself into. LOLOLOL
I remember Julie (Second eldest sibling) Stirring a spoon in a big metal Pot. It was the cornbread, and Mom looked at her from the Dining Room and yelled, “Damnit Jules, don’t stir too fast). Of course Julie yelled back, “I’m Not !” I remember my Mother limping into the kitchen right as Bill (My Father) and Jr. (Bill Jr. is my older brother) walked into the backdoor. My Father gave my Mother a kiss and asked how she was feeling? (Just so everyone can follow along easier, I am the baby boy of four children. I have one brother and two sisters.) “Like s##t, how do you think? Our daughters are not preparing Dinner properly?
Well, Debbie & Julie did a good job with Dinner. In the end I think Mom was quite proud because all she could muster was a teary eyed smile. But for me, it was incredible. It was Mom, Dad, Bill, Julie, Scott (Julie’s boyfriend), Debbie, and Jeff (Debbie’s husband. My brother-in-law), Ginger & Michael (My niece and nephew), and of course yours truly. I could not remember a time like this in my entire life. The entire family was here which was highly unusual (Due to age difference. Debbie, the oldest, is 23 years older than me. Big gap between all of us).
An hour later we ended up having homemade Pumpkin Pie and Red Velvet cake. Mom made those because she refused to let ANYONE else bake in her kitchen! And God D##N was is delicious. I marveled at the whole thing. I remember being in awe. Not because of my Sister’s wonderful cooking. And not because of my Mom’s delicious desserts. But because we were together. All of us for the first Thanksgiving that I could remember. It wasn’t about illness on this day. It was about family! Family that would prevail!
After everyone had left, it was my Mother, my Father, and myself. After my Father went to bed my Mother took her wig off. “Hi/Low or Hi”, I asked. (That’s Omaha Hi/Low) “How about a game of Trouble?”, She replied. I said, “You bet your sweet a## Whatever game you feel like losing at……” I was laughing out loud when my Mother smacked me on the top of the head. As it turns out, Cancer may take a lot of things from you. But it NEVER takes away your sassiness. It was at this time that we had our first “deep” conversation since the diagnosis. As we played she asked me, “How are you doing Honey?”. “Okay I guess”, I said. “You seem like you have something on your mind”, she said. “I kind of do”, I replied. “Well what is it sweety, you can tell me anything”, she said. “Well, I just don’t understand how all of this happened so fast. You went to the doctor a few days after your birthday, then a few days after that Debbie is taking you to radiology appointments. Then last week your hair starts to fall out. I just don’t understand how this happened so fast.”
As I reached across the table to pop the bubble my Mom Grabbed my hand. “Honey, I’m sorry, but I lied to you. I went to see Dr. Rocke three weeks before my birthday. That’s when I found out about the cancer. The day that you thought I went to the doctor was actually my first radiation treatment.”, she said. “Why did you lie about it though”, I asked. “Honey, I’m sorry for that, but I didn’t want you to worry. You need to concentrate on your classes. Not to mention how good you were doing at football. The last thing you need right now is to worry about me. The reason my hair fell out was because I am undergoing such a high treatment of radiology.”, She replied. “Just don’t lie to me because that scares me more than anything”, I said. “I won’t lie anymore Honey. I’m Sorry”, she replied.
We spent the rest of the night playing Trouble and Rummy. I remember going to bed that night more at ease. My question had been answered and I understood her reasoning. I could now rest easy ???????????????